Attendance

Thinking back to my days in high school, I was allotted a certain number of absences before my ability to graduate and get my diploma was in danger. That was my incentive to go to school and not miss too many classes. I remember how some people deliberately planned to skip certain days and still remain eligible to graduate. I was not one of those people. I made every attempt to go to class to learn and get ahead. I suspect most people fall somewhere in the middle of this spectrum.

As diligent as I am with attendance on principle, I found myself not always looking forward to coming to jujitsu class, if I may be completely transparent. It was, in fact, difficult for me to make excuses, at least in the beginning. It was only when I was physically incapable of driving myself to the dojo and driving back safely, would I call out such as if I came down with the flu. Then it was if I had an injury that I thought would prevent me from doing techniques or limit my abilities or prolong my recovery. Then it was if I were very sore from a particularly challenging previous class. Interestingly, work seemed to take priority in my mind as well and I skipped class if I wanted to finish a deadline or stay late at work.

We all have busy work lives and social lives but one thing struck me which I really didn’t understand until I was much further along in my training. I was working in the same department in a company with Shihan (that’s how I found out about Kobukai in the first place) and I told him I was going to skip his class (to his face) as I was a white belt and he just remarked something to the effect of, “when you arent in class your training partners may miss you,” and shortly after he left to go teach class. Aside from the obvious, (how could I have skipped one of Shihan’s classes, gosh), I really didn’t understand what he meant, not in the least. I mean why would other people in the class care one way or another whether my presence would have any bearing in their world. We all come from a place where individual effort and time put in dictate our success or failure. I’m there for my self-serving purpose and I don’t care if someone is there or not. So why should they care about me?

But here’s what did happen every time I missed one of Shihan’s classes:

• Sempai Mariana choked Shihan out unconscious and got promoted to blue belt (may not have been the same day)
• Shihan got promoted from Sensei to a Shihan
• A bunch of street toughs showed up and got their butts handed to them

All this happened just in a period of 6-8 months after I started at Kobukai. Other than the very notable and interesting things, I had a bunch of training partners that I looked forward to learning and growing with me. And now, I realize they needed me as well.

Over the years, I’ve heard it all (and given my fair share) of the excuses people make for skipping class. The list is long and tiresome. Working late, shifts in schedule and overtime, sick [insert familial relation] at home, helping someone move, sprained back, shoulder, muscle, tendon, etc., you know the usual.

Lately, though, the excuses have been getting increasingly creative and somewhat whimsical. Children’s playdates, pet funerals, fairs and events, the new episode of some streaming channel, a movie premier, the couch looks too inviting, a new bottle of scotch arrived at the door. Okay so some of these aren’t broadcast but are thought and decided before a plain old boring excuse is sent out.

Let me be blunt, there is no such thing as a good excuse. An excuse is a cop-out and a fail, and more insidious, it sets a precedent. You fail your teacher, you fail your fellow training partners, and most important of all you fail yourself. Every time you make an excuse not to attend you take an opportunity away from yourself. Time only moves forward and you won’t get that opportunity back. Take it from me, I wish I could go back now and not have skipped class [on insert day] so I would have that much more sequestered away in my head now that I no longer have Kobukai. I can never get back that time to train for a black belt because I have nobody to train with anymore. That’s called living with the consequence, and that’s the only outcome of making excuses.

The root cause for making excuses are myriad and complex. We are all, after all, human. We have to work to make money to pay for stuff, we have dependents that rely on us for their livelihood. And, of course, Kobukai Jujitsu hurts! I was in pain constantly, some of it good pain (soreness) and others not so much (tweaked elbow, sprained back). Nine time out of ten it is not a jujitsu issue, it’s something else that’s rattling around in your mind impeding you from from doing jujitsu. I can’t figure it out for you but you should speak to your Senseis about it. Having someone else hear your reasoning will give them a chance to weigh in and possibly help you manage it. In the past, you simply sucked it up and made it happen, your injuries a badge of honor. Just remind yourself, as I was reminded by Sensei Chris, “an attacker won’t give you quarter because you feel sick.”

When your mind is geared towards making excuses, it is becomes unaccustomed to other modes of thinking. Instead, it’s looking for a way out. Seeking the path of least resistance, as they say. And if you get to this point more often than not you need to ask yourself some tough questions. Another side-effect of being perfunctory in your attitude toward attendance is perpetually arriving late to class or right on the “wire,” or just moments before class begins. It’s exceedingly disrespectful to your instructor and fellow training partners that did take the time to arrive 15-20 minutes early and were ready to start class on-time. You make everybody else wait if you arrive just in the nick of time and have to change or put on your belt. I recall anecdotally from the old crew like Sempai Trey and Big Dave – there was no room for slack. Either you were exactly 15 minutes early to class or you just turned around and went home and kick yourself for not planning well enough ahead. Driving through the city in rush hour traffic? Sure, check the traffic. There’s at least half a dozen websites and apps not to mention news channels and the radio to tell you how bad the delays are. Arriving late was not an option when you trained at the old hombu dojo. There was something called “losing face” when you didn’t follow unwritten decorum. That’s a huge faux pas that seems to be lost in today’s society for some reason.

I’ve seen Sensei Chris go to incredible lengths to show up to teach class. Do you think because he’s also a regular guy outside the dojo he gets to excuse himself when his dog died or his wife was in the hospital or when his debilitating back pain makes it nearly impossible to walk from his deck across the lawn to the dojo? He’s not inhuman, but that’s the level of commitment and dedication he has for his students, us!

Look, I get it. Shit happens and life happens. But dedication to the betterment of oneself and show respect and deference to your teacher and the place where you find the way is the one quality is what sets us apart from the rest of the herd. Does simply showing up early and often to class make you a better person. I posit that it does for all the reasons we talked about. You should be looking forward to class, seeing your comrades, to challenging yourself, to learning new techniques, to understanding the dynamics of self-defense and combat, even absorb some of the rich history and culture of what you are engaging in. If you’ve got this positive mindset you will be able to put your highly developed excuse-making ability to good use elsewhere so you can make it to class!